Total Spanner

I know it's cruel to joke, but I think I might have some like serious illness (Parkinsons?). For a few days last week I did some really muppety things and at first I was ashamed to tell anyone but maybe someone could let me know if I might have something terminal, or if this is just a case of your common or garden muppet!

1. Last Thrusday evening, surfing the net. While waiting for the webpage to load up (we form part of the poorer classes with only a dial-up connection :-) I noticed the mini stapler on the desk was broken. So I was fiddling with it trying to fix the little problem, when suddenly - CLICK! Yes, I stapled my finger. I looked on with shock, as tears formed in my eyes from the stinging pain brought on the tiny piece of sharp metal protruding from my index finger. Jamie laughed heartily. I mean what semi-intelligent adult staples their own finger???

2. Had my driving theory test on Saturday (I passed, wahoo! I would remove the Theory book and Highway code from my reading list but allconsuming.net went down.) On my way out of the test centre, I got the elevator down to the ground floor. In the elevator I was looking for the result on the results sheet - they don't make it obvious - and next thing I hear the elevator voice say "doors closing" but I'd been in there for a few minutes. There I was at the ground floor, in an elevator I couldn't get out of. I just mashed all the buttons and then the door opened. I straightened myself trying not to look flustered and hurried out the test centre.

3. Sunday in the pool - it all went fine, there were no disasters in the pool itself. On the way out, through the automatic doors, I walked confidently ahead, straight into the door. The didn't open as wide as I expected and I nearly fell over backwards - again Jamie laughed heartily!!!

4. And finally, on Monday morning at work while going up the stairs to my office I tripped and fell up the stairs in a most embarrassing maneouver. These are open stairs so all of warehouse could see me but luckily no one was around. This event on top of all the other nearly made me cry!!!

What have I turned into? Am I ill or ahve I, in my old age developed "clutz disease"? HELP!